Friday, 20 May 2011

Just curious


Above is Maslow's pyramid of needs. :) Some of you may recognize this, if you studied Commerce. It popped out in my mind because I was feeling whiny over trivial things while there's people out their struggling for their survival. It's the whole clich├ęd scene.

You see, when you have your safety and physiological needs covered you have more time to worry about trivial things. Heck, I want drama. I'm that bored.

I snapped at people today. People who were being friendly. I'm feeling anti-social, and it's not even period. I can't blame it on PMS. Wtf. Alright, I'll blame it on exams. But don't mention that I'm emo, I'll probably get over it.

When people ask if I'm feeling sad/okay it only ever makes things worse. You're implying that I look sad. Even if I'm not sad, I'd think I look sad and was subconsciously sad. But if you're my close friend and you see my mouth scrunched up, do ask. I might just release my problems on you. Hehehhoho.

But I'm not someone who's sad all the time. I think my neutral face looks too cool. Sometimes I wake up and forget that I was sad. Hahahaha. I like listening to people's problems, it makes my problems less lonely. But I hate it when people are sad for things that aren't worth it. They're blinding their path to happiness.

What's most important in my life? Happiness. Things that bring happiness. People. Doing what I like. And then money. That's all I know for now. I can't wait to get out of Malaysia. Live in New York or London, have the fucking world beneath my feet. Okay? 20 years old to 30 years old. I'll live my life to the darnest. Do everything. Strive like crazy. Yes to everything.

I want to be in a place where people make an effort to be dress up and presentable. It makes everything looks much more fine and exciting, I want to be surrounded with people who believe in themselves. The hard truth is that people do care about appearance.

Today was Moral, possibly the lamest subject on Earth. I don't know why the Ministry of Education thought it was correct to produce moral-minded civilians by making them memorize the definition word by word. If they ever memorize, it's just to fill up their test papers.

Everyone can understand what "Honesty" is, but not everyone will have the same definition word by word. Doesn't mean that it's not in the syllabus, it's wrong. That's just horribly narrow-minded.

The education system is dead. Input input no output. Memorize. Test-oriented and academically-inclined. They don't give much shit about creativity.

They think I'm still taking Chemistry. I'm planning not to come on SPM. Last year they told us we could drop the subject this year and now they tell us, oh, there's been a mistake. You have to take it. Fuck you. I already stopped paying attention last year. Why would I study a subject I knew I could and would drop?

They say psychologically-speaking, if you had a crush on someone for more than 4 months you've already fallen in love. What if I say I've never fallen in love? The feeling dissipates, evaporates and fades before even reaching its pinnacle.

Now this is something I've confessed. You suckers are lucky to hear it. I apologize for the vulgar language today. But it serves as an effective outlet sometimes.

Bye fuckers. You know I love you,
xoxo

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