Monday, 12 December 2011

Bottom of my heart


Prom is over, just like that. Prom was overrated. School was underrated.

Without school, I am lost. I wish it was like the old times, where December was just a holiday and I would have to greet school again on January. But reality hits, it's not. It's pointless to try and bring it back. All I have now is to enjoy what I had, cherish the memories. I'm glad I spent the last year of high school fully. Very fully.

I used to be a nerd, reclusive. Or at least that's what I felt like. Never used to go out. Until I turned Form 5, went to Theng Loo's party and after that I just wanted outings and more outings, parties and more parties. I love dressing up and hanging out with friends. 

I found perverse pleasure testing how long I could stay out before my parents lectured. Then they realized I'm growing up, and accepted it. Heck, they even made extra keys so they don't have to leave the keys somewhere else for me to grab when I've come home and everyone's asleep.

At the beginning, I went out at least once in a week. Mostly it was with Siet Yen and Jun Wen. And then Sim Kuan got her car, I went out few days a week. And then I got my car, went out almost everyday. Especially because of Xuan, with her motto- "you ON, I ON". Speechless, alolo! A phase where I went swimming often, too.

For now, Xuan is in Australia for three weeks. Siet Yen and Sim Kuan... can't go out. So it's mostly the guys for outings. Vincent. Weng Hock. Shao Yang. All the woh wohs. I don't like seeing people leave. I used to be okay. But I need something. Just something.

A routine maybe. Something to wake up to in the morning. Now, I sleep in my bed for hours at the end. I have not much to do anyway, why not waste it by sleeping it off. Good grief. Cannot cannot. Life cannot be so pointless. Find college, find part-time. 

They say things get worse before they get better. School has just finally ended and I'm feeling nostalgic. I'll be okay soon, and forget I ever wrote this cheesy post.

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