Wednesday, 30 October 2013

Many faces of the bobhead girl

Camwhore much? Haha.
As always right, what girls do when they have a new hairdo :3.

So quick that November's coming, bye bye to October.
And soon bye bye to 2013.

Fashion Sketching class today.
Sequinned top from Topshop (OH, the pun ^^ HAHHA)
Glittery pouf skirt from F Block

Vency and Jia Shin yoh, le college buddies.

Umm. I think bob also can look very punk if you want it to.
With the whole Avril Lavigne thing. But I don't want la ^^
I'm the kiddy kawaii kolours style.

Okay, that doesn't make sense.

But you know la what I mean ^^

Bug eye sunnies on? HAHA.
Always camwhore while waiting at the sri damansara traffic light.

Bug eyes on, bug eyes off.


29th was my dad's birthday.

Okay, actually I have a guilty confession to make...
EVERY year, I keep mistaking his birthday.

2011 I thought it was Oct 27.
2012 I thought it was Oct 28.
2013 I also thought it was Oct 28,
but actually it is OCt 29.

29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 .

HAHHAHA. Remember it please, as a fillial daughter.

Anyways, things concerning dates I always ask my brother.
He's good with birthdates and locations :3

And Sharene's 25. HAHAH. Keep mixing them up.

November has a lot of babies too.
I think cos parents always do the deed during Valentine's day.
So nine months later it's November. Isit? haha.

Just bought a cheese cake from Secret Recipe,
and invited relatives to come over :3

Dad doesn't like to plan anything for his birthday.
When you wanna plan something he'll be like, "no need la".
But I know deep down inside he appreciates it la.

After all this guy work hard all year round, on his birthday should have something right.
HAHAH. I haven't got his official birthday present yet actually.
Just card and cake.

What to give? Perfume? Hm, not sure.
Christmas coming too. The month of giving. :)

Be xtra kind!

Alright, that's about it.
Short post. Wanna update selcas actually.

Bye! <3 p="">

God Bless you!

Sunday, 27 October 2013

Little black bob

Hello ^^v

As you guys may know.
I changed my hair into a short bob recently.
Round on top, then tapering to two sharp wisps
at both sides of my face.

yes, it's a huge decision to cut so much of my hair away. 
But it felt like dead weight, I've bleached them until they aren't healthy.

Plus. It marks a new start.
After all, we make space for new things to come,
when we get rid of the old.

This is me two years plus ago.
Look at the date! HAHHA.

Still so innocent back then :P

Anyway, I've experimented enough with crazy colours.
Blonde pink ash brown.

No matter what we still have to go back to our roots.
Back to basic it is!

And if you dye your hair too different from your normal hair colour,
I tell you man the roots are crazy. Especially blonde! HAHAHA.
It's like going black to white. No no wait yellow.
So the contrast is huge.

High maintenace a bit lo, touch up roots and all.
But blonde was a fun colour :) pink not so much because it faded very quick.

Anyhow, I'm glad my hair looks healthy now.
Plus. My face looks much more lively.
No wonder I kept putting on makeup when I had bleached hair -,-!!!!

HAHAHA. For black hair a layer of loose powder is enough,
to cover dark circles and all.
No need to BB cream all over ^^

This was Saturday night family dinner, at 1 Utama.
Hehe. Had my pick, which was Japanese food ^^v
I love Japanese food. 

Even the crappiest Japanese food, I still prefer it over Chinese food or any other cuisine.
Betrayer I know. HAHAHA.
But I've never really had an experience where a Japanese resto WASN'T appetizing.
It's always tasty!

This was at Watami.
Quite pricey I think? Almost RM200 for three persons.
But the service was very good, staff friendly and helpful.
Which is surprisingly cos Jap resto staffs aren't always attentive 
due to having to handle a lot of customers.

Oh yeah, H&M also opened its doors at 1U last Thursday.
So much of monotone and neutral and plums!
Very autumn/winter feel.

Eventhough I have black hair I still love pastels MOST.
Red lip stick, black hair and fair skin are such good complements I think.

Also managed to do quite a lot of assignments during my Saturday afternoon.
But I did the drawing ones, production class one (sewing/draping/drafting) 
haven't yet. 

Hehe, just gotta keep up being strong-willed and concentrated.

houndstooth :3

Againnn. It's hard to make sense what works best for black.
I've been under brown/yellow tones for so long, they compliment pastels well!
Black I guess would be monochrome and jewel tones. 

Without make up. HAHAHA.
Black hair is much more carefree.
Less pattern la. 

After make up.
So cincai make up I did in like five mins actually.
HAHAH. Red lipstick and the helpings of smokey black eyeshadow
makes a big diff I guess.

Okay, on a deeper note.

I'm recovering from the whole episode.
As mentioned on my previous blog post.
It's an uphill climb, which means I'm succeeding.
But it's uphill la, means I have to PUT EFFORT.

Anyways, I guess it's true everything is a blessing in disguise.
I can tell you I'm not always happy. I get angry/sad out of sudden.
Sometimes I wanna shout and cry out of sudden. I do feel that.

But I just be patient myself, take it step by step.
I'm sure I'll recover and come out STRONGER.
It's like pruning the bad branches away so I can bear more fruit.

Been reading bible each day, and there's so much wisdom from it.
It's my favourite book on Earth.

I do, wish wish wish that I'm not being passionate about God for just a season.
I want to read the bible, EVERYDAY.

OHMYGOSH WAIT. I realize it's my dad's birthday in two days. 
Hehe. Guess I'll write him a love letter. And... presents?

Okay back to that. HAHAHAH. I got distracted
cos I looked at my lappie's date.

Yaya, I wanna read the bible everyday.

In the past, I was a lukewarm Christian.
I guess I loved the pleasures of the World, more than I loved God.
And yes, that's sinning. I loved God, but I loved the World more.
And you can't serve TWO masters. You'll always end up being swayed
to the one you lean towards.

I leaned, but I learned.-The World, you can't fall into it.
The gate of destruction is wide, the path to salvation is narrow,
but persevere because it is the narrow road, which leads to more rewards.
Actually the path to destruction has no rewards. lol.
Just temporary pleasures. Stuff of addictions. Slaves to short pleasures,
and long sufferings.

It's a taboo to be too into religion.
The commandments scares them off.. I would know, I was one of them.
The World does not understand, they do not see God- yet.
Because they are in the dark. But I believe everyone will have their chances,
for God is fair. Very very fair and mighty.

Everyone gets to know God with their own timings!

Anyway, I just want to REMIND REMIND REMIND myself,
not to fall back into my old ways.

I don't want to sin anymore. Everyday, I want to live by God.
Whenever I sin, I hope I catch myself. Repent and pray for God 
to help me stop sinning.

Sinning taints the Holy Temple of God. Which is your body, yourself.
You were bought at a price, as in by Jesus' blood.

Keeping the commandments used to feel suffocating.
I was yet ready to let go of my worldly ways.
But know, it's just something I would like to do.

And I just. Want to be with God. 

Don't say I'm over religious or what.
You say that because you don't know my story,
don't know what God did for me.
I have my reasons! :) But if you have questions, do ask.
I'll try my best to answer.

HAHAH alright. Enough deep talk.
Can't be serious ALL THE TIME. :P

My sweeties. Finally reunited with Xuannie. HAHAHA.

The original ladies-Siet Yen, Mei Yen, Xuannie, Jennie, Chi Cheng and myself.
Anyways, I just hope we don't ever fall apart due to stupid misunderstandings!
It's not worth it to lose friendships over temporal anger!

If you wanna save a friendship, all it takes is to make a move.
A hello, a sorry, a thank you, whatever. Just be sincere.
Forget who was wrong and who was right.

Think more about how many days you lose being friends with each other,
if you do not solve this problem.

If you feel like a friend, after you have lost him you feel better off,
then of course it's your choice to not want to friend him back. lol.
But I think every friendship is true. 
Surely there was some point you guys sincerely enjoyed each other's company!

Anyway, of course I missed Xuannie.
I was angry, hurt and everything at first. 
But after that when I came back to God, I just kind of 
let go of all the hate and gave God my burden.
There's no place in the Heart for hate anyway! :3

HAHHA. I just hope we grow stronger after this,
lesson learnt.

Thursday night was a Catholic meeting my Aunt invited me too.
I'm a prostestant :3

Catholic puts more emphasis on Mother Mary. 
Prostestant is more on Jesus and God Almighty.

They pray with the rosary beads and do the cross gesture.

And lol I thought it was really nice, the snacks. Like a litte picnic!!!
I wanna do that when I'm a mom next time. 
Invite people over for Christian meetings then prepare food etc etc.

My little cousin. Look at his rabbit tooth, lol.

That's about it! ^^v goodnight.

God Bless You!

Thursday, 24 October 2013

Finding God again.

A lot of things happened recently.

I guess this would mark a pivotal point of my life, sort of like... a breakthrough.

After destruction is rebuilding. Yes, I was destroyed. Inside out.
Mentally, spritually, emotionally, physically.

I gained weight.
I felt heavy physically and emotionally.
Spiritually, I was lost. I strayed from God.
Emotionally, I was scattered and without my own will.
Could NOT lift a finger to pick up a pen to do my homework.
It was that bad.

When you stray from God? Nothing good happens.
Because on Earth, you either serve the Devil or Jesus, the Prince of Peace.

The devil know our name but calls you by your sin.
Jesus knows our sins but calls us by our name.

Jesus is our shepherd. The devil is a thief. He enters through the backdoor. Cowardly.
Sin fascinates, then assasinates. That's the skill of seduction.

And love? Love doesn't need seduction. It's just two minds alike clicking with each other.
Patient, trusting, loving.

I do say, for my future boyfriend.
I will bring him to the Lord first, to the church first.
Then I will bring him to my Father.

If, one of them do not agree, then I can't and won't date you.
I only want to date the man, the soulmate sent from Heaven.

If not? If he's not your soul mate, he'll be your soul tie.

Wait. Let me stop here.

Let me say, then in that relationship. It's not like everything was so bad.
There were some really sweet moment, BUT. BUT.
He is not the guy sent for me, I'm not fated to be with him like this.
The wrong relationship ends up in soul tie, as a result of fornication.
YES. Sex before marriage.

It is a cardinal sin. Anyone who does not obey the law is a criminal,
but know that our Lord is a merciful but rightful judge.

The Antichrist is swelling, which is what was prophesized- the World will become
really tainted, a lot of people will follow Satan.
Then judgement day, Armageddon, will befall.
Anyone with the mark is not saved.

To be saved, just ask for the Lord.
Confess your sins. In Life I think meeting God is the most important thing, ever.
But we often forget that.

We are so,so, so, obsessed and in love with the World that we forgot,
we forgot we were made by God, made in his image.
How... despicable of us.

I just ask that you respect my religion.
I do not force you to believe in my God,
because only you can believe.

I can't make you believe. 
I can't. I can pray, but everything else is in God's hands.
If you are not ready, nothing can help.
If God sees you are ready, he will find you.
He's always there, just that sometimes we can't see.

Why? Because we don't even look.
How do we notice the skies when we are staring at the tree???
So step back and look at your life. Re-examine.

He only wants to be your landlord, not your tenant.
That's why, no one but you can invite him in.

Look, I never used to understand.
I used to be in the dark.

I was a born again Christian during 2006.
I know because that's the date of my first bible lol.
Anyway I only have two now :3 a big one and a small one
I bought recently to carry everywhere.

I think that's the most valuable thing ever.
To give someone a bible.
If my house was set on fire today,
all I'd want is to ask my family to get to safety.
Not forgetting Lucian and Cabbie.
And hopefully take the bible away from the fires. 

But money, handbags, burn to ashes all you want.
For I shall not covet the things of this World.
Especially the material things which hold our fixation so much.
Let loving and obeying God be your priority.
Everything else will fall into place.

Without God I was lost, I was never satisfied.
No matter how much water you poured into me, I still felt thirsty.
WHY? Because I was like a vase with no bottom.
I could not contain any water. 

Anything that is addiction-related.
Food, alcohol, smoking, gambling, sex, fighting.
Addiction are all things of the devil, to keep us sinning :)
So be wise. Stop it.

Stop it.

Next. If you have a lot of negative emotions like I did.
Find out the cause. For me, it was the relationship I was in.
Because, I was not happy with myself but I went into a relationship.
How then could I be happy with myself?

I do not blame my ex for what happened.
The sin, both of us were of the same.
I don't judge anyone. Only God can judge.
I can only forgive.
And hope too, that I be forgiven.

If I've offended in your past, big or small.
I just want to say sincerely, "I'm sorry".
Just sorry for not taking your feelings into account. :)
That's all.


Find God's love, before you love anything else.

Another thing. Think of the person you most hate.
Think about what they done.

Painful? Alright. Let me tell you, it hurts yes, but it was only meant to hurt for that moment.
So don't let that hurt carry on. Break the hurt, let it go. You don't need it.
Forgive that person. Forgive yourself. Say it.

When you don't hate, that's when you find love.
Light and darkness do not mix, you can't be a "neutral".

Say, light is white and darkness is black.
Earth could be a shade of grey, because it is between white and black,
but know that everyone on Earth always have to choose a side.

To be in the middle means you will be taken by Satan,
because you don't know Lord's word.
Because you don't know him, you wouldn't know how to keep his commandments.

The bible is hard to understand at first.
But. Have faith. Let the Holy Spirit come.
It takes time, trial, tribulations.
I went through a lot of pain to see the light after the tunnel.
Persevere. Eventhough I'd risen, some day I might fall again.
I just pray that when I do fall, I will pick myself up. 

Reap what you sow.
A lot of joy and peace comes in the way of following Jesus..
And the reward is far greater than anything, that is eternal life with God our father.

When I was in the dark, I did not like being in the light.
I did not want to be exposed. I still liked sinning.

It starts small, thoughts in your head then the actual act itself.
Know that the Devil can't seduce you more than what you are tempted.
He can only add branches to the root you have in you.
So ask for the Lord to prune you.

It is tough love. It hurts to be pruned.
But know that you'll come out of it BETTER.
And that's all you ever need to know.

That things will always go better when they're at the WORSE.
I met Satan, yes. I met his evil workers.

But after that. I can't describe it.
The grace of God that I found. 
I would go through it no matter how many more times,
to get to where I am now.

Because I've changed completely.
The old one still is a part of me, but it knows it has to change.
I don't intend on going back. 

It's a new chapter.
No clubs, no sunway Giza.
Church and God and bible and prayers are my priorities.
Caring for the people around me and showing love.
growing into a better person each day.

You know what. I was the sort of b**** who despised at people
who didn't know how to dress up, wanted to shout at the slightest thing gone wrong,
occasionally took God Almighty's name in vain (HOW DARE I!!! *SPANK)
swore, hated, bitched.

Now? now I find that I can't hate. Today the hairdresser really tested my patience lol.
During the time I waited for her I was like URRR restless.
Then after that when she came back to massage my hair and I could think straight again.
I thought. Hey, waiting longer is alright. Let the dye seep in longer. lol.


Me, I know I have fear, lust and anger.
But, with God my Lord, I will overcome.

Sinners live to sin. It becomes their nature. It's hard to break free, but God will help.
They hate the idea of going to God, because they are yet ready to let go 
of the pleasures that come from sinning.

But let me tell you that after coming out of the other side,
may I tell you that the joy of serving God is greater than anything on Earth.
The fulfillment is amazing.

To lie is to steal.
To hate is to murder.
To lust is to commit adultery.

Also when you sin with someone, especially through fornication.
Soul ties are formed and spiritual bondage too.
So the demons can come. 

That was me.

The doors are closed now, FIRMLY.
At first it took a lot alot of FIGHTING.
I felt so broken. Broken to pieces, felt like I could not saved myself.
I feared everything. Going to the toilet, closing my eyes, being left alone in the dark.
I wanted to lay frozen on my bed. And wished there was people in my room for company.
I had a voice and a pair of ears but I could not speak, I could not listen.
That's what it's like being in the dark.

That is why I dedicate my life for the Light.
Because it was the Light who saved me.
Who took the burden for me.
And that, I fell into his mercy,
gracious, undeserving mercy.

Even after I knew I was saved and delivered, I still feared.
I was safe indeed but I fear, so the Devil lied.
When Uncle Vincent said that the Devil was trying to lie to me,
OH MY I TELL YOU. I reacted so bad. I screamed so, so, so bad.

After that. I kept praying and praying and praying.
Bit by bit to gain back the faith. 
FIGHT. Fall and stand up again.

You don't win without fighting.
To give up is to be defeated. 
And I would never give up for the sake of my sanity.
The hallucinations in my mind were so real, they took over.

And then. Bit by bit, advises came from people who were into God.
He told me, NO. Don't focus on Satan, you give him power.

I meditated on Bible verses.
The devil and the God, everything in the Bible is true.
AND OF COURSE. Eventhough the devil exists, but so what????
IN the presence of God. He can't even stand his light.
He runs away. I know it :)

I defeated him, no. Christ defeated him for me.
Because I believed. 

I felt like dying. Yeah. So hard to escape.
But to die would mean Satan would win, NO.
I would never let him win. No matter how many times,
I will fight for God. I treasure my life. I treasure God.

God can take my life if he wishes.
But not Satan, he has no right.
He is a little ant, and God is the giant that is higher than the clouds,
wielding a hammer so huge it could contain an island.

So don't be afraid. God will always protect you :)
If you want to get out of Satan's grasp, God will be there.
If you are faithful, God is there.

Why? Because we belong to God. 
Anything else, is plain old lies. 

If you do not understand now, it is okay.
I was lost too but now find by the grace of the Lord.

My church also helped me, SO SO SO SOSO MUCH.
I am ever soo ooooooo grateful. They saved me in all ways possible.
Because God works wonders.

And because he has worked such wonders, I live to tell this story.
God is real, so so real.

One night I kept praying fervently, over and over. To drive out the fear.
To calm myself. It was like four in the morning I supposed.

And behold. I felt His glorious presence in my room.
Goosebumps all over, tingles all over. 
Kind of scared at first because you are not sure how to react,
but after I just wanted to fall in front of his grace. Something so amazing.

I could feel His light. I didn't see it.
The spiritual side of me felt it.
I was so grateful and in awe I cried.
They weren't of sadness, but of awe and amaze and joy.
He spoke to me a few things.

That he heard my prayers and my family will be in peace, that he promises.
That my Dad will be saved, and to have him stop smoking first.
Honestly, I do not deserve all this mercy.
Another one, was that Natalie would receive the gift of tongues
and that she prepares for it. 

I am not a Saint, I am nothing special.
Just that by the grace of Lord, I am still standing.
And I live to stand in awe of his wonderful works.

I am His servant.

You guys can laugh and sneer all you want,
but I'm not going to stop worshipping my God.

He works wonders!

Hallelujah. :)

And you all are children of God, so believe, so repent.

PS: If you have any questions, please ask. I will be more than GLAD to help.
Especially if it's about dating and sex, I know the danger it CAN bring
If  you aren't satisfied with you boy/girl relationship,
please, I beg of you. 

Ask yourself, is he/she really right for you or are you guys just staying for the sex,
the habit, the attachment?

The arguements the blames the anger? Do you feel positive more or negative more?

Not everyone is the same. What that hurt and break me might not be the same for another person :)
But, if you feel like you and I are quite similar in terms of experience, ASK.

Only you... have the power to save yourself.
Once you ask for it, God and his people WILL HELP.

Sunday, 20 October 2013

His Name on High

God is the truth and the light and we are nothing without him.

Christians need to read of the Word daily and live in faith. 
Otherwise, spiritually we are weak.

I just want to say a few things.
I have broken up with my ex, well and truly.
It is a clean break with no more ties.
We aren't suited together.

The time has not come for me to be in a relationship.
When the right guy comes, it will happen naturally.
For now, I'm probably going to take at least a six month break.

I'll invest more time on discovering God and investing in myself.
Concentrate on college. As always, friends and family will be there :)

Always turn to God. Turn to God first. Then to family and friends.
It is wonderful to have so many support systems.

Let's just say I want to start things anew.

If you feel troubled, look for ways to become good.
Never, ever dwell on negative emotions.
Make negative become positive again.
That is how you become healthy and free, and gain inner peace.

Forget the bitterness, forget the condemnation, forget the anger.
Forget it all. Yes, hurt is hurt. But let it go.
The hurt is only meant to hurt you for a few seconds.
It does not have the right, to be with you any longer.

Instead, ask the negative emotions to go.
Invite love and forgiveness to come in.
Fill yourself with inner peace and bliss.

We are not against the World, we are at peace with the World.
Our bodies are temples for Holy Spirit to will, no will of flesh or will of satan shall manifest.
In the presence of God, everything will bow down to him
for he is the Name Above All Names.

If you feel like you shouldn't do something, don't do it.
If you feel like you shouldn't see something, don't see it.
If you feel not wrong feeling something, let it go.
The little voice in your head will lead you to be good.
Find your God, he will lead you.

As he has led me.
And I am at the mercy of God.